Marriage Solutions

How this book can help you

The book, ‘In Bed with Adam and Eve’ can support you in your marriage in many ways. Below is a summary of some of the key issues that are addressed by the book and solutions that you may be searching for.

The goal of a healthy marriage

Your concern may be to ensure that you have a happy, healthy marriage. You don’t want to be complacent; you want to work on your marriage, see it grow and reach its full potential. You may also feel curious about the truths that your couple relationship could reveal and what you could also discover about yourself. If this resonates with you, this self-help guide will provide you with the tools that you need to raise your level of self-awareness and explore important issues for your marriage.

Supporting your connection as lovers

Perhaps you feel like the lovers in the Biblical book of Song of Songs, momentarily did, and you’ve woken to find that your lover is lost to you and has unexpectedly ‘… slipped away’ Song of Songs 5:6. Whether that’s the internal lover within yourself, and your desire for your partner has diminished.  Alternatively, there may have been a rupture in your marriage and your connection with your lover, your spouse, has gone. My book ‘In Bed with Adam and Eve’ can help you explore this and recapture your sense of connection. It can also help you explore new ways of connecting on an erotic, sexual level. Even if you currently enjoy a satisfying, sex-life, this self-help guide can support you in deepening your level of sexual intimacy.

Navigating the early years of marriage

Maybe you’re in the early years of your marriage and things aren’t always smooth. You may be feeling confused, wondering, who have I married? Perhaps similar to the Biblical story of Jacob and Rachel, metaphorically speaking it’s like you’re lifted the wedding veil, and you feel like you’ve ended up married to the wrong person. Someone who doesn’t resemble the person you fell in love with at all. (You may be aware that Jacob was promised Rachel’s hand in marriage after seven years of working for his father-in-law, but Rachel’s older sister Leah, disguised under the wedding veil was married to Jacob instead). Like Jacob, you may feel duped, let down, or betrayed even. If you’re struggling with a range of confusing emotions early on in marriage and your husband/wife no longer seems like the person who you were dating or engaged to, then this self-help guide can help you make sense of these dynamics. It can support you to move forward and get to know each other on a deeper level once more.

Discovering your identity within marriage

How can you achieve a sense of being close as a couple, but still maintain a sense of your own identity? You may at times feel very close and happy, but then feel you need space from your spouse, and you may withdraw; or arguments flare up and you become distant with one another. At times you may feel somewhat overwhelmed by your partner and unsure whether they can really see and hear you. Like a couple of porcupines who try to get close and then prick one another and edge backwards again, eternally trying to find the right balance of togetherness and separateness: this book helps you to explore and resolve these important issues.

Getting ‘unstuck’ and becoming a creative couple

Maybe one or both of you are looking for solutions to issues outside of your marriage. Whether that’s in terms of an affair, or other passions and hobbies, or spending time with friends or family as a way of escaping or avoiding marital problems. In the Bible, Sarah and Abraham also started to doubt whether they could be fruitful, creative and produce the child God promised them: they started to look for solutions outside of their marriage as a result. Sarah encouraged Abraham to sleep with her maid Hagar and unfortunate consequences ensued for all. Eventually the sense of their potential to be a creative couple was restored and Sarah became pregnant, despite her old age. This book can help you to discover your potential to be creative couple again, and find the resources that you need within your marriage so that you can grow together instead of growing apart.

Family misalignments and strengthening your couple unit

Perhaps your spouse has become distant or absent through things such as: workaholic tendencies; depression; physical illness; alcohol misuse; an affair; or other distractions or addictions. Like the Biblical couple, Rebecca and Issac, your love may have diminished over time. We know to begin with in their marriage they loved each other deeply. ‘And Isaac brought Rebekah into his mother Sarah’s tent, and she became his wife. He loved her deeply, and she was a special comfort to him….’ Genesis 24:67. With the passing of time their love sadly cooled. As this happened Rebecca and Issac’s focus of attention shifted to their sons Jacob and Esau. Similarly you may focus your loving energies and hopes for the future on children instead of your spouse. When a child becomes the central emotional confidante for the parent instead of the spouse, family relationships can become misaligned. Maybe you were an emotional confidante for your mother/father when you were a child because your other parent was absent emotionally/physically – this is likely to have had a significant impact on your own marriage and your understanding of what it means to be in a couple relationship. If you need help looking at these type of misalignments and how you can strengthen your couple unit, then this book provides the help that you need to do this.

Resentment and forgiveness

Feelings of resentment may be an issue for you in your marriage and may flare up on a cyclical basis. In fact, you may feel a deep emotional impact when your spouse says, or does, or fails to do certain things. The intensity of your reactions may feel difficult to understand at times and a complete sense of forgiveness hard to reach. This book will help you to process feelings of resentment fully and achieve a more complete sense of forgiveness as a result.

Encountering conflict

Conflict may be a central concern. You may want to read this book to understand the dynamics behind the patterns of conflict you experience. This can help it to be managed better. This self-help guide also provides practical tips and ideas about what to do when you encounter conflict. This has the potential to bring you closer as a couple and improve your ability to communicate.

Managing transitions

Couples can be enjoying a happy emotional rhythm in their marriage, only to be jolted out of this and for difficult emotions to surface during transitions. For example, when entering different life stages, processing losses, having children, a change in work roles, or shifts in mental/physical health. Issues connected to each person’s ‘couple fit’ and unprocessed emotions from the past may compound difficulties around transitions. This self-help guide provides support you need to make sense of the dynamics surrounding transitions and resolve any underlying tensions.

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